Well, God willing Mark is on his way home from Mexico as I type. I say God willing because if you heard about Hurricane Dolly-well that is relatively close to where he has been in Mexico. But we were concerned as well about flight cancellations because he had his first layover in Houston. But I just checked his flight, and it appears as if it left 10 minutes early and should be arriving in Houston in about an hour. It’s been a roller-coaster few days. Mark called on Tuesday and said that he had heard that a hurricane might be headed toward them but couldn’t tell for sure because everything was in Spanish. We hung up and I began to search for info, and realized that yes indeed it was headed in that direction. The next day I called people and asked them to pray. I told everyone that I didn’t want Chloe to know about this, and not to discuss it around her. She rode home from VBS that night with Holly and when she got out of the car she came straight to me. “Mommy, there’s going to be a hurricane in Mexico.” I froze. I couldn’t figure out what to do or say, so I told her to go in the house I’d be right in. She was already tearing up. I said “Holly, what do I do?” She told me that I needed to be honest with her, because if I wasn’t and something happened Chloe would question me on why I wasn’t honest. She suggested I tell her that the hurricane was supposed to hit in Texas, but that when it reached Mexico it should be mostly rain, which was all true. I told her and she cried, until after midnight. She said “I don’t care if it’s a hurricane or not, I miss Daddy.” I tried not to just say empty things like “it’ll be ok.” She’s way too smart for that. We prayed and prayed. We also prayed for the 200 or so houses Mark had saw that were made of sticks and scrap metal. She stayed in my room until very late. Mark didn’t call that night. He had already told me he probably wouldn’t because they were going to do a little sightseeing, and it might be late. But with the storm, well I wasn’t sure what was going on. Chloe did calm down by the next morning. I ended up calling Mark’s boss and asking if he’d heard from Mark. He actually had just gotten off the phone with him. He was fine.

I got to church for the last night of VBS. My head was pounding and everything had sort of taken a toll on me, but only in a way that I was fully trusting God and in a greater understanding of my total dependence on Him. Mother said something under her breath that I couldn’t hear. “What did you say?” “They’ve taken Janice to the Hospice house?” I quickly went to find Holly. Yes. The Hospice nurse told Richard that she needed to go so they could medicate her in a way to reduce her pain more effectively. The night before Rebekah had literally begged Holly to spend the night with Janice. Holly had promised her that after the last night of VBS (last night) she could. On the drive home from VBS Holly was forced to tell Rebekah the situation. Rebekah cried and cried. She and Janice are so close. They lived with Janice for the first several years of Rebekah’s life. Rebekah and Rachel have been forced through this situation to talk about death, and the process of dying. It’s one of those life lessons that unfortunately you learn through experiencing it. I mean you can learn about it, but to actually learn it, you have to suffer.

Holly and I have both had to tell our kid’s things that we didn’t way to say, but it was the truth, so we had too. We didn’t want them to be afraid, but to keep these situations from them would’ve been worse. What if they would have looked at us and said “Why didn’t you tell me?”

As I said, last night we ended VBS. I talked to a woman last night coming to pick up a youth. I felt prompted to engage her in conversation. She responded and began sharing things. I’m not really sure why she felt it was ok to tell me the things she told me, but I’m so glad she did. I encouraged her to come to church Sunday and she seemed like she really wants to. You know it’s so much easier to turn our backs on the details in people’s lives. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not saying we should point out the details in peoples lives to draw them to Christ-‘cause I can promise you that does not work. I’m talking about taking the time to let them share with you and tell you what they need to say and then build on that. “Hi. Are you a Christian? Oh you’re not, well you should be. Now get saved!” That doesn’t work. I have heard story after story of people becoming saved through relationships that have developed over time. I know the fear is a person not getting saved before they die, but the great thing is that salvation is not our responsibility, its God’s. Holly and I decided that the eventual pain of dishonesty would far outweigh the momentary pain of honesty for Rebekah and Chloe. The facts were the facts. Janice is going to a Hospice house, and Mark was in the possible path of a hurricane, but to sow a seed of deceipt (even unintentionally) that might cause a lifetime of regrets, it wasn’t worth it. It would have been easier not to tell Chloe and hope for the best, and easier to not tell Rebekah and hope Janice came home, but easier isn’t always best, in fact it usually isn’t. People need to know the truth. It would be much easier to just say “Hi” to a person and hope things work out, (In fact, I hear people say a lot “It’ll all work out.”) but how much better it would be for that person in the long run for you and I to be honest and helpful and willing to invest in their lives.

Holly and I are ending our two week slumber party. It’s been a time of talking, crying, laughing and of course eating. We’ve had Meagan B. with us, and Adam, and Richard and Megan and Ali. (Not at the same time) We’ve stayed up ridiculously late every single night. We went to the drive inn, we swam, we cooked, we lived without a refrigerator, we watched Natalie Grant and a bunch of other artists You Tubes when they talked about what they’ve been through, and we did so much more. This really confirms my belief in the need for friendships. I’ve heard James Dobson talk about this before, and he’s right.

So to Holly I say “Tempenade! Until next time.”

Isaiah 58:6-9“This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I’m interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

Mark is out of town. He has been for one week. He’ll be home in a few days. I’ve been trying to keep Chloe occupied because I knew that she was really gonna struggle with this. She’s been away from us for a week when we’ve gone on youth trips. We’ve been on about 6 or 7 trips. But not like this long. Not without her Daddy. Those two are crazy about each other. She lost it last night. Broke my heart. “I miss his hugs and kisses. I wish it was the end of the week.” She cried and cried. I miss Mark too. I know he misses us too because he’s called a good bit, and he called and left messages yesterday that he was really homesick. The refrigerator went out last week, so I had to throw everything out, and we’re just putting water in a cooler ‘till he gets home and figures out what we’re gonna do. So pretty much as soon as he gets back he’ll be bombarded with yards to cut, a broken fridge, we’re cooking at the shelter Saturday, and who knows what else.

VBS started last night, and I’m helping in the youth. “Outrigger Island” is the theme this year. Lori and Megan B. really did a great job decorating the room. There were 74 in youth last night!! Isn’t that awesome?! Adam taught last night and it was really good. There were a few scriptures that I really pondered over last night.

Exodus 14:13 Moses spoke to the people: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work of salvation for you today. Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you’re never going to see them again.

14 God will fight the battle for you.
And you? You keep your mouths shut!”

15-16 God said to Moses: “Why cry out to me? Speak to the Israelites. Order them to get moving. Hold your staff high and stretch your hand out over the sea: Split the sea! The Israelites will walk through the sea on dry ground.

There are certain times in the Bible when God says “Be still. Stand firm. Stand strong.” But after reading this last night I was thinking: Moses told them to stand firm, and God would do everything. But God said “Get moving.”

Ecclesiastes says there is a time and season for everything. I am so unsure and insecure, I almost always assume that what God wants me to do is to- “be still and know that He’s God.” But in this story God says “Get moving!” To see success and live required action. There are times when we should “wait on the Lord.” I believe (after reading this last night) there are also times when our faith needs to have movement. There’s a fine line between trusting God and saying “I’ll just sit here God and let your do your thing in my life” and I spend far too much time on the wrong side of that fine line. Sometimes it takes greater belief to take action.

What if those Israelites wouldn’t have been willing to “get moving”?

It’s hard to know exactly what God wants us to do in life sometimes, because there aren’t specifics about certain things. Sometimes we must pray, and pray and pray and pray. We must wait to hear from God. We must be still. We must move. Not every situation and answer will be the same, because God is mysterious, and we don’t know His ways, because they are higher than ours.

When I was little and starting to get older I would always to try corner mother into giving me blanket answers about when I’d be allowed to do certain things, and she never would. She always said “It would depend on the situation.” Sometimes I think we all wish every situation was exactly the same so we wouldn’t have to spend the special prayer time, and Bible study time, and waiting time. But everything is at the will and in the hand of God. Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD;
he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. So this gives me the belief every decision is in God’s hands.

Today my challenge is follow God’s leading and direction. Don’t assume that God’s answers for a situation 3 yr. ago, or 3 weeks ago, or 3 days ago are necessarily what He’s answering today. If he says “be still”, then you be still. If he says “get moving”, then get moving.

I choose to believe that God will give me direction and you direction when we look for it.

I’m shredding paper. Lots of paper. I’m under conviction because even though I answer the phone here, I could definitely offer to say “if you need me to do something, just let me know.” But instead I wait for someone to ask me if I will help them-clever, right? No, wrong. I’ve been very, very frightened to do anything, just because of messing something up, which I seem to do a lot. I’m not sure if I’ve used that as an excuse or what. Ashley D. said I could help her with some date entry type of stuff, but it’s not quite that easy. It has to be done is Word rather than in Excel because of the way the lines need to be; therefore it takes about 4 times as long. So I worked on it yesterday until 5:00. Then this morning she said that she would do the data entry if I’d rather shred paper. I was all for it.

I’m utterly amazed at the amount of paper shreds these stack of paper are generating. I’ve done less than half, and have filled the biggest trash bag I’ve ever seen. I know that often this paper is recycled to use again. Isn’t that something? One of these quotations that I’m shredding may eventually be a milk carton.

The other day I was thinking about my past. Almost confused as to how I share my testimony about my past if God can’t remember my past. How is God glorified if I’m talking about something He’s unaware of? I believe the answer if that God forgives and forgets about our sin. I believe that he sees our past, but absent of the sin. I don’t know quite how to articulate what I’m trying to say, but it’s like if a person commits a crime and serves their sentence, they are free. Roger talked about stealing last Sunday. I told you I was convicted and guilty of some of the things he talked about. If I ask God to forgive me, and then want to share what I went through, I think God can still see that situation, but now as free of sin. It makes no sense, but the ways of God don’t make sense.

So just like this shredded paper has the potential to eventually be a milk carton, or maybe some construction paper, or something else; in the same way your life has the potential to be recycled into a new creation. Yes you have a past, but now God sees it in a different way. What freedom!!!

The Bible says that when God forgives us, He “remembers our sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). This does not mean that the all-knowing God forgets because He forgives us. Rather, He chooses not to bring up our sin to Himself or others. When our former sins come to mind, we can choose to dwell upon them (with the resulting guilty feelings), or we can choose to fill our minds with thoughts of the awesome God who forgave us and thank and praise Him for it (Philippians 4:8). Remembering our sins is only beneficial when it reminds us of the extent of God’s forgiveness and makes it easier for us to forgive others (Matthew 18:21-35).

From gotquestions.org

The Sermon Sunday morning was very good. “Thou Shalt Not Steal” Exodus 20:15 was revealed to me yesterday in a new way. Many times we think of stealing as taking a physical, literal object you can put your hands on. But Roger stated several things that I had to say “guilty” about.

*Taking credit for something I didn’t do.

*Illegal downloads

A new sense of what this could mean, just again helped me scream out emotionally “Oh God I need you so much!! Thank you God that you love me and forgive me!”

Last night was the children’s musical and it was so good! There were a few little mic malfunctions, and briefly forgetting line, and some kids that were really jamming out to the music, but for me-that’s what makes it. When I was Chloe’s age, anytime I was in a musical or recital, I always wanted to put on make-up. So, last night I asked Chloe if she wanted to put a little make-up on. She looked at me like I was crazy and said “Why in the world would I want to do that?!”

Today at work the exterminating man came in. I asked him how I could eliminate the existence of ants, and he told me that wasn’t possible. He said that even if a product or person tells you they can completely eliminate ants, they aren’t telling the truth. I explained to him that as a child in Tx. I’d laid down in a bed of fire ants and now have an extreme phobia. We started talking about a few other phobias and such. He told me that he used to be a volunteer firefighter and that he had a phobia of moving from the fire ladder onto the house. He then told me about a lady that he exterminates for that has a phobia of leaving her house-so she doesn’t. As in she doesn’t even go outside. He told me that if she needs to see a physician that he either comes to her home or that an ambulance comes and that she must be sedated and then she goes to the Dr. My goodness. I teared up. He said that his daughter has helped her clean her house, and that sometimes he’ll take vegetables over there. Last time he did, she said “Well, I hope you can eat with me.” He told her, “Of course, that’s why I brought this.” You know on the outside looking in at this woman, most of us would say “Just come out. It’s ok. Get over it.” In her mind though, she just can’t. It’s too much. It’s so hard to “help” the kind of person that looks like they don’t want help. But I believe even though this lady looks like she doesn’t want help-she does. The exterminator told me that when he goes to her house that the only part of her body you will see outside is her hand slipping out the door just enough to unlock it.

That’s it in a nutshell. We look at people illogically locked inside their house of sin and say “leave!!” This is correct. They do need to leave. But people need to know that you care about them first. Jesus did this. He cared for people openly.

A person may unlock their heart in the most unassuming way and then go back inside to see what’s gonna happen. If that exterminator wasn’t looking for her to unlock that door so he could come in, she’d miss it. If you and I aren’t looking for that moment that God wants you to impact a person in whatever way is best for Him-we’ll miss it.

Our M-fuge camp pastor Moses said this “Others don’t want to only hear ‘I love you.’ They want to see it.” I believe he’s right.

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

July 4^th is Nanny Vickie’s birthday. So every July 4^th for the past…………I’d say 15+ years, my entire family is together somewhere enjoying the 4^th. This year though Nanny wanted to go eat lunch, and then said for everyone to just do “whatever.” Holly and I conspired to go to Carowinds. So after eating lunch we headed off. I had read on their website that they would be having an all-u-can eat buffet for about $12 a person. Now if you’ve been there lately then you know that a drink cost $3.75, and to get a portion of food that could feed a toddler cost about $8.00. So I suggested that we should buy a ticket for this buffet. First thing when we got there we bought our ticket and went to the water park. The water park was very crowded, but we still had a good time. After swimming around in the wave pool and being bombarded by the people who had inner tubes (you have to pay for them, so we didn’t one) Holly, me and Rachel went to the lazy river and Rich, Mark and the Rebekah and Chloe rode slides. We stayed there until our meal and then headed over for our food extravaganza (or so I thought). I said “Oh, this is gonna be perfect. We can eat and then we won’t need to buy anything else. This is gonna be so good.” We walked up and there was a long line of people waiting to eat. What was this line all about???? A man who looked like a manager came up and said “Hey how are y’all doing? Just wanted to let you guys know we have a chicken delay.” Now Richard is one of my favorite people on the planet, ‘because he loves to tease and joke with people. He said “Chicken delay. Hm. Chicken delay.” He then starts asking him silly, funny questions, and all of a sudden the manager knows he’s joking around, and then the manager (I think) feels a bit relieved to encounter a person that’s not mad. Then the joking was really on. Richard would go up to people and say “Have you heard there’s a chicken delay?” It was so funny. There were only 2 actual buffet lines with food, when they had it set up to make you think there were many buffet lines. So we tried to get soft drinks in a place that didn’t have any, went to a buffet line with only plates and cutlery, and stood in line for about 20 minutes because of the “chicken delay.” Then…………..finally……….chicken! Ya baby. It was so on. I start loading my plate with hot dogs and chicken. We sat down and I started eating. Eating very, very salty hot dogs. Eating chicken that was-well, sort of ok. Drinking in very small glasses so that it would only take a few gulps and I’d have to travel up hill, both ways in the snow for 10 miles to get a refill (Ok, I made the up hill snow part up.) We left and for the remainder of the day rode rides, and watched fireworks, and then waited about 1 ½ hr. (no joke) to get out of the parking lot.

We went to the shelter and cooked Saturday and it was good and yet it was also, well I don’t know exactly. But my passion for the homeless has yet again been renewed and I had conversations with people, and encountered a gentleman who was very, very intoxicated last time I saw him, but this time wasn’t. It was incredible how different he was when he was sober. I mean not just his actions, his entire demeanor. I feel very passionate about my desire and what I believe is a call from God to reach out to people and say “You know what? God loves you. God accepts you. He’s not waiting for you to do this or that. You are loved. Already.” This is my conviction, and my belief. Other people have strong convictions as well about what they believe their beliefs and callings are. They aren’t all the same. Whatever you believe is your calling from God, please PLEASE, PLEASE go after it with your heart. If we did that as Christians-watch out! Something would happen. But, mediocrity is where most of us are. I realize that I am passionate about the things that I am passionate about, and maybe not as concerned about other things, even that are in the body. But I AM passionate about God. That’s what I want for you, to be passionate about God. When I’m in the presence of lukewarm, I get sick. I get distracted, depressed, selfish, and on and on. I’ve come to the realization since I’ve returned from M-Fuge some simple facts:

1. When I am doing things for Christ, I feel good and I feel satisfied

2. The simpler, the better

3. The things that I once banked my happiness on all seemed to be like a bounced check, worth very little, maybe nothing.

I’m in a very strange place today. Emotionally I mean. See just like that chicken, which was a buffet of OK food, my life lately has been like a smorgasbord of OK-ness with God, and I’ve realized there isn’t such a thing. I must break away and out of the shell that I feel like others require. Can I be specific?? Ok good. Is it Ok to go hang out a bar and witness? I mean have a coke, sit down, and share the hope you have in Christ? I can tell you right now, unequivocally that Jesus would have ABSOLUTELY been at a bar and witnessed. But the problem is if someone I knew saw me there, how quickly they would get home so they could call tell what they’d seen. Shouldn’t be that way. Shouldn’t be that way at all. You know me, or you should. We should have enough faith in each other that we don’t have to wonder if we’ve “slipped in sin” and if you wonder, then ask me-not everybody but me. What I’m saying is do what God calls you to do. You must. Do it with all your being. Do it with all your might. Do it with all your heart. Don’t pay the price of your daily life to digest a buffet of what others tell you that you must eat. Do and be whatever God tells you.

I Corinthians 10 19-22Do you see the difference? Sacrifices offered to idols are offered to nothing, for what’s the idol but a nothing? Or worse than nothing, a minus, a demon! I don’t want you to become part of something that reduces you to less than yourself. And you can’t have it both ways, banqueting with the Master one day and slumming with demons the next. Besides, the Master won’t put up with it. He wants us—all or nothing. Do you think you can get off with anything less?  23-24Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.  25-28With that as a base to work from, common sense can take you the rest of the way. Eat anything sold at the butcher shop, for instance; you don’t have to run an “idolatry test” on every item. “The earth,” after all, “is God’s, and everything in it.” That “everything” certainly includes the leg of lamb in the butcher shop. If a nonbeliever invites you to dinner and you feel like going, go ahead and enjoy yourself; eat everything placed before you. It would be both bad manners and bad spirituality to cross-examine your host on the ethical purity of each course as it is served. On the other hand, if he goes out of his way to tell you that this or that was sacrificed to god or goddess so-and-so, you should pass. Even though you may be indifferent as to where it came from, he isn’t, and you don’t want to send mixed messages to him about who you are worshiping.

29-30But, except for these special cases, I’m not going to walk around on eggshells worrying about what small-minded people might say; I’m going to stride free and easy, knowing what our large-minded Master has already said. If I eat what is served to me, grateful to God for what is on the table, how can I worry about what someone will say? I thanked God for it and he blessed it! 31-33So eat your meals heartily, not worrying about what others say about you—you’re eating to God’s glory, after all, not to please them. As a matter of fact, do everything that way, heartily and freely to God’s glory. At the same time, don’t be callous in your exercise of freedom, thoughtlessly stepping on the toes of those who aren’t as free as you are. I try my best to be considerate of everyone’s feelings in all these matters; I hope you will be, too.