I can’t in a blog explain what I’m trying to put into words that I don’t know. I can’t articulate accurately what happened to me. But, I can try. Friday was the Live Love conference in Atlanta. Focus was going, and three Vision members wanted to go, so we went too. I had seen some of Francis Chan on You tube, and heard about his book Crazy Love. I was always excited, but had no idea what I was in store for. Let me first say that I do not drive on trips. Ever. But, I did on this one, and that in and of itself is a big deal. We got there Friday night several hours early and sat by the door. Just waiting. We finally got to go in and pretty much ran to the front. They did an opening with some funny skits and then amazing worship with Kristian Stanfill and then Francis. The first session that Francis taught opened with asking us if we’d ever fallen asleep while we were praying, and then he told a story about a job he used to have where he and his friend told people that Francis was from another country, and couldn’t speak English, so they could sell vacuum cleaners. It was so funny. Then, he went into a Revelation 4 description of who God was. He told us that after he’d had that “aha” moment, he saw things for what they were. He talked more, and then began to lead us in prayer. I can promise you I had no idea, no idea what was about to happen. He reminded us of who God was and that we were indeed communicating with I Am. I began to weep, and weep and weep. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t even try. It wasn’t a weeping of sadness; it was a weeping of realization of who He is. I have never in my life ever wept over God. I have cried over me, and my problems. Friends and family members and their problems. Maybe even cried with a spirit of thanksgiving over an answered prayer. I can assure you I have never wept because God was holy, or perfect, sinless, just, righteous and just well God. You could hear people around you coming to the realization as they praised. We all walked out and couldn’t believe what had just happened. We could barely talk, and most of the women looked like they’d been in a fight because all of their mascara had run all over their face. We went to Wal Mart and bought some junk food and went to the hotel, still almost in this spiritual awe. I have told you before that I have been praying for a very long time about my schedule, and have felt somehow like something just isn’t right. Logically speaking the schedule is ridiculous. But if you know me, you know I’m not that into logic. I know that God can strengthen and does strengthen anyone to do what He wants done. But, since I just haven’t been able to hold onto that strength, I’ve felt as if something(s) were going to have to come off my “things to do” list. I honestly felt as if something was going to be revealed to me in the weekend. As I got out of the shower and got in bed, everyone in my room was asleep, and I waited to hear what God was going to tell me. I cried out “Lord, take my list, you see it, you know. God, you have my permission to take anything that is on this list and tell me to remove it. God I will.” His response in my spirit was this “Gina, you don’t understand, if you want to do what I say, if you want to truly lose your life, there is no list. If you want my ultimate, what you need to show me is a blank piece of paper and say “God, what do you want on this list.”

More to come tomorrow.

Isaiah 6 Isaiah’s Commission 1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” 4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. 5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” 6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”