This past month has been exciting, frustrating, scary, blessed. We’ve had up and downs. But Saturday it happened. The seventh annual Searching for the Beauty Within seminar. This was a very exciting and new experience, even though it was our seventh seminar. It was held this year at Gaston College. We have held the event at our church for the past six years. We have been supported and welcomed, and there’s no hidden agenda behind the location change. It’s just the place we believed God would have us hold the event.

Last week was full of activity. We practiced and prepared constantly. Prayed. Wondered at times if decisions we had made were best. When I say “we” it was under the leadership of Holly. I’m not going to go into details of Beauty Within, or UNBOUND. If you don’t know the story, visit www.unboundministry.com

As I said, Saturday finally came. Lots of things that I would call unexpected or better than expected happened. I’d say the praise band was one. People praying before during and after, just filled me with blessings. Pictures taken by Ashley. The dance team. The banner Jill did. The jewelry that Abigail sold to benefit the Home Foundation. The volunteers. The shoes that Emily made to give away. Believe In Abilities jewelry along with Jenny’s incredible decorations. Megan Blanton making so many things happen that HAD to happen, that all of us were clueless about. Mark at the last minute getting my father-in-laws equipment to video. Ray making something to hold the banner up with!! So many other things.

We blindly went into this, because for some things we didn’t have a choice. And guess what???????? God used that blind faith as trust and He took over.

Roger preached yesterday on the vision for our church. Well, preached and challenged us to take part in the message. He questioned “why are you at church? Do you have expectations? Does it matter in your own personal life? Does it matter to people around you?” He challenged us to pray for what vision our church should have, and explained he wasn’t talking about personal preferences or desires-which I was SO glad he said. Lots of people agreed yesterday in their hearts. Agreed that we want what God wants.

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision the people perish.

What’s clouding your vision today? World opinion? A friend’s opinion? Sin? Discouragement? Rejection? Struggle? None of these things are more powerful than God. None of these things stop God. But, when they invade our lives and we begin to focus on them, our vision is compromised. Roger taught on our 50th Anniversary Sunday from one of my favorite passages Romans 12:1-2. But, I saw something I have never EVER seen before last week. I shared with Vision on Wed. that I have for about the past year felt internally like a battle was going on. I’ve begged God for help, asked Him to show me what to do. Well last Sunday He spoke to me.
Romans 12
Place Your Life Before God

1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

See what He said to me. “Gina, focus on me. Become fixated on me. Become obsessed with me. I will change you inside.”

I know that so many of you are like me. You feel like if God doesn’t intervene and change your circumstance, you’re not going to make it. But could it be that if you focus on Him you might be able to find total satisfaction in that place you find yourself? YES!YES!YES!

Will you try today? Will you trust today? Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just today.

God, please help us to desire You above any other person or thing.

Show us what that means, teach us what that means.

Thank you God!

We love you God!

These past few weeks have been….well insane.

Chapel Grove went to the Deeper Still Conference http://www.lifeway.com/ev/events_detail_mainpage/0,2232,E%253D150%2526M%253D200979,00.html

in Greensboro. (the ladies) Speakers were Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, and Kay Arthur and Travis Cottrell led worship. A few of us from www.unboundministry.com went up a day early to meet with Pam Case from Lifeway. Well, when I say “meet” what I mean to say is have coffee and just talk for a while. Now you tell me, how in the world can this person who’s pretty much plays a major role in this event, have to time to just “chill” for a while with us, the night before the event. On top of that-the airport misplaced her hair products! She sat and listened to us, wanted to hear our hearts and she shared hers. It wasn’t at all her sitting and telling us what we should aspire to one day become. Then the next day and a half was the conference. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Kay shared her heart and burden the America wake up. Priscilla shared her heart that God’s greatness can’t begin to even be fathomed by us. Beth (I loved this) literally felt God changing her topic only moments before she came out! She talked about fellowship with God. Travis and all the singers had a heart for God that was very obvious. It was so wonderful.

Next day, beach. One week of getting tan, sleeping on the beach, jellyfish stings, bingo and so much more. 

Then we came home for three days and Mark and I went to the Connect Conference Threads in Atlanta. http://threadsmedia.com/connect/?cid=Threads-emailCRD20090813Connect We learned so much and I was so thrilled to be able to go. They design it for a very small attendance intentionally so that there could be interaction with the speakers. I’m so challenged by what I learned and felt somewhat of a confirmation about the direction I believe the class has taken.

Came home Saturday night and went to a cookout, and then got ready for Thursday. Had to move Meagan into college in Greensboro and be back home and have Chloe at her new school by 5:00.
Then Friday night-the Jonas Brothers. We got there at 6:30 and I returned home at about 2:00 AM. The concert was fun. We had to make an impromptu IHOP trip on the way home. Praise the Lord I didn’t fall, because we had nosebleed seats, and looking down made me a bit dizzy. But, I’m glad. It was so loud, to be on the bottom would’ve blown my ear drums out. I found this youtube of them yesterday.

Then Saturday I had to go to a funeral. Someone I know died relatively unexpectedly. Lots of tears, and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard kinder words about a person. What is strange, but I believe it was God, I prayed for this individual by name either the day of or a few days before he died. This isn’t a person that I normally pray for.

On the way to the funeral Saturday I asked Chloe to read I Corinthians 13 to me.
1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)
1 Corinthians 13
Love

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

I think what I was wondering about what the Bible says that love is not.

I went into the funeral and it was very emotional for me, and everyone there. I think that’s something that happens as we grow up. We understand more about death, and realize to the extent that we can, it’s final.

They read various scriptures throughout the service. I have never in my remembrance heard what’s quoted as the Love Chapter, read at a funeral. But, to my surprise, they read the entire chapter. I remembered that I had just asked Chloe to read this, and I realized God was trying to tell me something.

I read all the things that I’ve tried to claim that love “is” when the Bible clearly says that love is “not” those things. I just can’t do that anymore. Please forgive me as I change. I have to. I want to. I need to. Love is what will make my life flourish or fail. This is not a request from God. It’s not advice. I have to do this if I want my life to change and I do.

Please continue to pray for Mark. He still has a kidney stone and had a terrible bout with it last night from 2:00 am on. He took 2 pain pills, and when I went home at lunch, he told me as soon as he could get himself together he was going to our church to trim the bushes, before the clean up day Saturday.

I have looked forward to tonight for several weeks. Vision went for the first time to feed at what’s called “the Mission.” It’s for the homeless, downtrodden, really anyone. We’ve partnered in the past at another organization, but I just felt called to this lil’ place. This place that’s been almost condemned by our local code enforcement. This place this is in need of so much. But it isn’t short of a passion for Jesus and sharing who he is.
I read this morning the following:

Jesus Feeds the Four Thousand
Matthew 15: 29Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. 30Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. 31The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
32Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”
33His disciples answered, “Where could we get enough bread in this remote place to feed such a crowd?”
34″How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked.
“Seven,” they replied, “and a few small fish.”
35He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. 36Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. 37They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 38The number of those who ate was four thousand, besides women and children. 39After Jesus had sent the crowd away, he got into the boat and went to the vicinity of Magadan.
My mind began to think about how I could “reenact” the miracle of this to people. Get loaves and fishes and do a play? Could I do some kind of magic trick?
But I heard God this morning. “Gina, people don’t need a reenactment of a miracle. They need a miracle. Gina, you don’t need a reenactment of a miracle. You need a miracle.” Oh God, you are right, as always. We all need a fresh new miracle. But, in order for a miracle to be answered, what do you have to have??? That’s right. A huge need. A need that only God Himself could meet. Is that you today friend? Oh, it’s me. I have been. If you read the word of God, you will see that over and over God allows tremendous needs just so He can perform tremendous miracles that He gets all the glory for.

Matthew 16
The Demand for a Sign
1The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven.
2He replied,[a] “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ 3and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. 4A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Jesus then left them and went away.
The Yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees
5When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6″Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”
7They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”
8Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? 9Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 10Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 11How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 12Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.
The religious wanted miracles. But God knew why. Not for His glory.
Jesus talks about the bread multiplying from little (the five thousand and four thousand). He then tells them be on guard of the bad yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees. Those few loaves were uncontaminated. God can work with clean vessels. Large numbers of dirty vessels (religious hypocrites, or lukewarm) well I think they’re useless. What would you rather have, 1 piece of bread that’s good or 500 pieces of bread, each with a tiny spot of mold??
A few weeks ago an upcoming Vision member, Oscar Trejo said that it’s as if God’s people who are passionate for him are like fine perfume. Concentrated but very powerful. What a good analogy. God is so interested in our hearts. In our passion for His calling.
Ask God today for your modern day miracle. I believe that’s why the need is there. As long as we remain with the yeast He provides, and keep our selves clean, it’s like that friendship bread, it just keeps on going!!
Expect God to move!! He is able

I came to work Friday unaware and unprepared for what the day would hold. I got to work and started my day. Then……………………..Mac. I realize I must tell you more because you don’t know Mac. Mac is an employee at the company I work for. I used to work for him directly, and then Ashley D. took my place, and since she’s laid off, I was the one to do what he needed done. This is what Mac said “All right clown. Get this quote done. Stop playing on the internet.” (All this before I even know what he really even wants me to do.) Please use your imagination in hearing a strong Pakistani accent. If this is the first time you’ve read or heard of Mac, his name is really Maqbool, and he is from Pakistan. In Pakistan years ago, women were lower than dogs. Mac is Muslim. But, if you know me personally, you know the owner of this company is a devout Christian, godly man. You may ask why he would allow this person to be employed at this company. Is it that he puts his business above God? Hardly. In fact it’s quite the opposite. If you’ve ever been to M&M, you’ll notice Christian pictures, the Ten Commandments and even a Bible in the lobby. Marvin knows the wrongness of the “Christian Bubble.” In defense of Mac, I have never efficiently been able to do the things he’s asked me to do. Mac left and came back a bit later. I was on the phone with Mark, and Mac said “get off your personal phone call.” He was sort of joking, but sort of not. I stung with anger. “I’ll have to call you back. I can’t talk right now!” I yell at Mark I am angry. I don’t understand how things are this way. “God, you know I love you. You know what I can and can’t do. Why have you placed me in this moment?” I sent Mark a text with the purpose of him feeling guilty for not being a billionaire. I held back tears, but not by much. I got through with what I’d been demanded to do. I felt like a wreck emotionally. About 4 hours later I remembered I never called Mark back. Well, he was calling to tell me he thought he had kidney stones!! I left and we went to the hospital. After I guess about 4 hours and a cat scan, we found out he did. The doc said they hadn’t moved and that he needed to see a urologist on Monday. Me and Chloe were supposed to spend the night with Holly and the gang. I went at 10:00 and we stayed up until 4:00 (A.M. THAT IS). We already had a Vision cookout planned for Sat. So I had to get ready for that. I got home and Mark informed me that he was going to cut the church grass. What!! I try every manipulative trick and reverse psychology to stop him. “You’ll get in so much pain and then you won’t be able to drive home. You’ve had purcacet. It’s dangerous for you to drive.” It was useless. I then tried to just use anger. “You are absolutely ridiculous!! You are so hard headed.!!” Useless. I told him that Chloe was in bed and probably would be most of the day, and I had to leave to get the stuff for the cookout, thinking that would keep him home. He just said “What time do I need to get home?” He left. I fumed. He arrived back home and then cut our grass and our neighbors grass. He said “I’m getting too old to do this.” I contemplated hitting him in the head with a hammer, but changed my mind. He then decided to go to the cookout. We got there and Ben did the cooking for it, and Mark just sort of rested, as best he could. Cookout was great. We met with the existing and upcoming Vision members who graduated and had a good crowd. We talked for a good while and just shared out hearts. That was over around 8:30. A few people wanted to come over for a bit, but they left at 10:00, because I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Sunday was church-amazing!! God taught me so much. Sunday after church Chloe needed a few more things for camp. So we spent the afternoon doing that, and then Sunday night church, and then home to pack. I was exhausted. Mark’s kidney stone still hanging around. Monday, Chloe left for camp. Monday night, I was toast. Mark still functioning with his kidney stone.

That man!! He’s so……………..well, so……………….DETERMINED. Mark is stubborn. When he believes that something is his responsibility, he’s going to do it, unless there is absolutely no way. When I say no way, I don’t mean a little sickness, or sleep interrupted, or plans changed, I mean literally impossible.

Are you determined today in your walk and function, roll and purpose for Christ? I want to be. But I’m realizing that “determined” is something I haven’t been. I allow circumstances, inconveniences, selfishness, and popular opinion to convince me I can’t, even if God has said “I can.”

See when I had time Friday night to really think about the day, I realized how weak spiritually I really was. See I pray constantly for Mac, constantly. But when I had that golden opportunity to live my prayer out loud, I didn’t. In fact, I did the exact opposite of what I’d been asking God to do for Mac. The words “in and through me” may be somewhat harder than we think they will.

Let’s vow to be determined today. What is God calling you to do that you’ve convinced yourself can’t be done. It may take stubbornness on your part; it may take ignoring that person that say “you can’t.” God doesn’t always ask us to do what’s easy, but he always asks us to do what’s best.

Crossing the Sea
Exodus 13
17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. [a] The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.
God will sometimes lead us to that place where our only real option is to follow Him. That place that requires a determined spirit to follow Him.

If you’re in Vision tomorrow night, we’ll talk more about this then.

Please pray for Mark and his kidney stone. But also join me in thanking God for the example of determination.

Love you wonderful hard-headed hubby!!

Please pray for Mac’s salvation.

I came to work Friday unaware and unprepared for what the day would hold. I got to work and started my day. Then……………………..Mac. I realize I must tell you more because you don’t know Mac. Mac is an employee at the company I work for. I used to work for him directly, and then Ashley D. took my place, and since she’s laid off, I was the one to do what he needed done. This is what Mac said “All right clown. Get this quote done. Stop playing on the internet.” (All this before I even know what he really even wants me to do.) Please use your imagination in hearing a strong Pakistani accent. If this is the first time you’ve read or heard of Mac, his name is really Maqbool, and he is from Pakistan. In Pakistan years ago, women were lower than dogs. Mac is Muslim. But, if you know me personally, you know the owner of this company is a devout Christian, godly man. You may ask why he would allow this person to be employed at this company. Is it that he puts his business above God? Hardly. In fact it’s quite the opposite. If you’ve ever been to M&M, you’ll notice Christian pictures, the Ten Commandments and even a Bible in the lobby. Marvin knows the wrongness of the “Christian Bubble.” In defense of Mac, I have never efficiently been able to do the things he’s asked me to do. Mac left and came back a bit later. I was on the phone with Mark, and Mac said “get off your personal phone call.” He was sort of joking, but sort of not. I stung with anger. “I’ll have to call you back. I can’t talk right now!” I yell at Mark I am angry. I don’t understand how things are this way. “God, you know I love you. You know what I can and can’t do. Why have you placed me in this moment?” I sent Mark a text with the purpose of him feeling guilty for not being a billionaire. I held back tears, but not by much. I got through with what I’d been demanded to do. I felt like a wreck emotionally. About 4 hours later I remembered I never called Mark back. Well, he was calling to tell me he thought he had kidney stones!! I left and we went to the hospital. After I guess about 4 hours and a cat scan, we found out he did. The doc said they hadn’t moved and that he needed to see a urologist on Monday. Me and Chloe were supposed to spend the night with Holly and the gang. I went at 10:00 and we stayed up until 4:00 (A.M. THAT IS). We already had a Vision cookout planned for Sat. So I had to get ready for that. I got home and Mark informed me that he was going to cut the church grass. What!! I try every manipulative trick and reverse psychology to stop him. “You’ll get in so much pain and then you won’t be able to drive home. You’ve had purcacet. It’s dangerous for you to drive.” It was useless. I then tried to just use anger. “You are absolutely ridiculous!! You are so hard headed.!!” Useless. I told him that Chloe was in bed and probably would be most of the day, and I had to leave to get the stuff for the cookout, thinking that would keep him home. He just said “What time do I need to get home?” He left. I fumed. He arrived back home and then cut our grass and our neighbors grass. He said “I’m getting too old to do this.” I contemplated hitting him in the head with a hammer, but changed my mind. He then decided to go to the cookout. We got there and Ben did the cooking for it, and Mark just sort of rested, as best he could. Cookout was great. We met with the existing and upcoming Vision members who graduated and had a good crowd. We talked for a good while and just shared out hearts. That was over around 8:30. A few people wanted to come over for a bit, but they left at 10:00, because I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Sunday was church-amazing!! God taught me so much. Sunday after church Chloe needed a few more things for camp. So we spent the afternoon doing that, and then Sunday night church, and then home to pack. I was exhausted. Mark’s kidney stone still hanging around. Monday, Chloe left for camp. Monday night, I was toast. Mark still functioning with his kidney stone.

That man!! He’s so……………..well, so……………….DETERMINED. Mark is stubborn. When he believes that something is his responsibility, he’s going to do it, unless there is absolutely no way. When I say no way, I don’t mean a little sickness, or sleep interrupted, or plans changed, I mean literally impossible.

Are you determined today in your walk and function, roll and purpose for Christ? I want to be. But I’m realizing that “determined” is something I haven’t been. I allow circumstances, inconveniences, selfishness, and popular opinion to convince me I can’t, even if God has said “I can.”

See when I had time Friday night to really think about the day, I realized how weak spiritually I really was. See I pray constantly for Mac, constantly. But when I had that golden opportunity to live my prayer out loud, I didn’t. In fact, I did the exact opposite of what I’d been asking God to do for Mac. The words “in and through me” may be somewhat harder than we think they will.

Let’s vow to be determined today. What is God calling you to do that you’ve convinced yourself can’t be done. It may take stubbornness on your part; it may take ignoring that person that say “you can’t.” God doesn’t always ask us to do what’s easy, but he always asks us to do what’s best.

Crossing the Sea
Exodus 13
17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. [a] The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.
God will sometimes lead us to that place where our only real option is to follow Him. That place that requires a determined spirit to follow Him.

If you’re in Vision tomorrow night, we’ll talk more about this then.

Please pray for Mark and his kidney stone. But also join me in thanking God for the example of determination.

Love you wonderful hard-headed hubby!!

Please pray for Mac’s salvation.

I came to work Friday unaware and unprepared for what the day would hold. I got to work and started my day. Then……………………..Mac. I realize I must tell you more because you don’t know Mac. Mac is an employee at the company I work for. I used to work for him directly, and then Ashley D. took my place, and since she’s laid off, I was the one to do what he needed done. This is what Mac said “All right clown. Get this quote done. Stop playing on the internet.” (All this before I even know what he really even wants me to do.) Please use your imagination in hearing a strong Pakistani accent. If this is the first time you’ve read or heard of Mac, his name is really Maqbool, and he is from Pakistan. In Pakistan years ago, women were lower than dogs. Mac is Muslim. But, if you know me personally, you know the owner of this company is a devout Christian, godly man. You may ask why he would allow this person to be employed at this company. Is it that he puts his business above God? Hardly. In fact it’s quite the opposite. If you’ve ever been to M&M, you’ll notice Christian pictures, the Ten Commandments and even a Bible in the lobby. Marvin knows the wrongness of the “Christian Bubble.” In defense of Mac, I have never efficiently been able to do the things he’s asked me to do. Mac left and came back a bit later. I was on the phone with Mark, and Mac said “get off your personal phone call.” He was sort of joking, but sort of not. I stung with anger. “I’ll have to call you back. I can’t talk right now!” I yell at Mark I am angry. I don’t understand how things are this way. “God, you know I love you. You know what I can and can’t do. Why have you placed me in this moment?” I sent Mark a text with the purpose of him feeling guilty for not being a billionaire. I held back tears, but not by much. I got through with what I’d been demanded to do. I felt like a wreck emotionally. About 4 hours later I remembered I never called Mark back. Well, he was calling to tell me he thought he had kidney stones!! I left and we went to the hospital. After I guess about 4 hours and a cat scan, we found out he did. The doc said they hadn’t moved and that he needed to see a urologist on Monday. Me and Chloe were supposed to spend the night with Holly and the gang. I went at 10:00 and we stayed up until 4:00 (A.M. THAT IS). We already had a Vision cookout planned for Sat. So I had to get ready for that. I got home and Mark informed me that he was going to cut the church grass. What!! I try every manipulative trick and reverse psychology to stop him. “You’ll get in so much pain and then you won’t be able to drive home. You’ve had purcacet. It’s dangerous for you to drive.” It was useless. I then tried to just use anger. “You are absolutely ridiculous!! You are so hard headed.!!” Useless. I told him that Chloe was in bed and probably would be most of the day, and I had to leave to get the stuff for the cookout, thinking that would keep him home. He just said “What time do I need to get home?” He left. I fumed. He arrived back home and then cut our grass and our neighbors grass. He said “I’m getting too old to do this.” I contemplated hitting him in the head with a hammer, but changed my mind. He then decided to go to the cookout. We got there and Ben did the cooking for it, and Mark just sort of rested, as best he could. Cookout was great. We met with the existing and upcoming Vision members who graduated and had a good crowd. We talked for a good while and just shared out hearts. That was over around 8:30. A few people wanted to come over for a bit, but they left at 10:00, because I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Sunday was church-amazing!! God taught me so much. Sunday after church Chloe needed a few more things for camp. So we spent the afternoon doing that, and then Sunday night church, and then home to pack. I was exhausted. Mark’s kidney stone still hanging around. Monday, Chloe left for camp. Monday night, I was toast. Mark still functioning with his kidney stone.

That man!! He’s so……………..well, so……………….DETERMINED. Mark is stubborn. When he believes that something is his responsibility, he’s going to do it, unless there is absolutely no way. When I say no way, I don’t mean a little sickness, or sleep interrupted, or plans changed, I mean literally impossible.

Are you determined today in your walk and function, roll and purpose for Christ? I want to be. But I’m realizing that “determined” is something I haven’t been. I allow circumstances, inconveniences, selfishness, and popular opinion to convince me I can’t, even if God has said “I can.”

See when I had time Friday night to really think about the day, I realized how weak spiritually I really was. See I pray constantly for Mac, constantly. But when I had that golden opportunity to live my prayer out loud, I didn’t. In fact, I did the exact opposite of what I’d been asking God to do for Mac. The words “in and through me” may be somewhat harder than we think they will.

Let’s vow to be determined today. What is God calling you to do that you’ve convinced yourself can’t be done. It may take stubbornness on your part; it may take ignoring that person that say “you can’t.” God doesn’t always ask us to do what’s easy, but he always asks us to do what’s best.

Crossing the Sea
Exodus 13
17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. [a] The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.
God will sometimes lead us to that place where our only real option is to follow Him. That place that requires a determined spirit to follow Him.

If you’re in Vision tomorrow night, we’ll talk more about this then.

Please pray for Mark and his kidney stone. But also join me in thanking God for the example of determination.

Love you wonderful hard-headed hubby!!

Please pray for Mac’s salvation.

Shut up.

“Oooooooooo” That’s what Rachel always says if you say any words that she deems as inappropriate. You know the ones. Dummy. Stupid. All those. The context in which you are saying them is totally irrelevant. Oh that girl cracks me up. You know she is very me- big ear rings, always wanting to fix up, always snapping her finger and shaking her head. In fact her nick name is GGJr (I’m GGSr.). She went down front to confess her salvation on Sunday. It was so exciting. She had decided before church, and she told me before church and I mean she was ready. You could just tell. I went forward to hug her after church, and just giggled ‘cause she just makes me laugh. She looks at me and throws her arms in the air “What is funny about this!?!” That is so Rachel.

You know I’ve tried to shut up lately. Thinking if I did that it would bring some type of comfort to me. It didn’t. It hasn’t. I don’t know if I thought I would just sit back and allow God to take over, or if I thought maybe I’d calm down spiritually, but none of that has happened. In fact I’ve become very stagnant. I really believe that God sometimes allows us to be in those times that we want to escape, but can’t, and that in order to fully mature we must go through them. I discussed this with my class on Sunday. You know if I had a “Get out of a Tough Life FREE” card to play right now-I would, and God knows. But that would prevent me from whatever it is that He obviously trying to do in my life to develop and mature me. But what I’ve truly discovered it that shutting-up isn’t for me, or isn’t for me anymore.

Either way-GGSR-is ‘bout to SHOUT!!

Psalm 39

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.

¹ I said, “I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as the wicked are in my presence.”

² But when I was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.

³ My heart grew hot within me,
and as I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:

⁴ “Show me, O LORD, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

⁵ You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man’s life is but a breath.
Selah

⁶ Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

⁷ “But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

⁸ Save me from all my transgressions;
do not make me the scorn of fools.

⁹ I was silent; I would not open my mouth,
for you are the one who has done this.

¹⁰ Remove your scourge from me;
I am overcome by the blow of your hand.

¹¹ You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;
you consume their wealth like a moth—
each man is but a breath.
Selah

¹² “Hear my prayer, O LORD,
listen to my cry for help;
be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.

¹³ Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more.”

I read this morning about the Hebrew midwives who saved the Hebrew male babies. Pharaoh had ordered the males be killed at birth. He was afraid their number would grow in strength so that the Egyptians would be overtaken.

Wow. Killed at birth. That’s huge. Now those midwives saved those babies.

You read in the next chapter that Moses was a Hebrew baby. Moses was chosen by God to lead the people out of captivity.

What if those midwives would’ve said “we know what’s right, but we have to do what we’re told.”? It’s really tough sometimes to do what’s right, when wrong is staring you in the face in the form of an influential person. But, like we read a few weeks back in church Daniel 3 16-18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, “Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn’t, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn’t serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”
Many of us love God, but few of us draw a line in the sand. So Satan wins the battle. Not the war, but the battle. We’re frozen. We’re stuck. We don’t trust God enough that no matter what, no matter what happens, He in His perfect way will take of us.

Can you imagine?? Kill every male baby born?? Wow. That’s drastic. That’s exactly how Satan feels about me and you. His goal is to kill us, but he doesn’t care if we are male of female, he just cares if we’re saved or lost. When Moses was born, Satan knew that God had great plans for him to lead the people, so Satan wanted him to die. When we are born again, Satan knows God has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) so he wants to kill us. Kill our dreams, kill our hope, kill our future. He can’t destroy our salvation, and ultimately has no power outside of God’s permission, so he will take anything he can get, and don’t you think for one second he cares at all about you or your family. He’ll stop at nothing and that’s why God stopped at nothing to love us.

Do you have battle scars today?? Oh I do. I’m nursing them even today. But I can’t quit. You can’t quit.

Dear God,
We love you God. You are greater and beyond the words we know to describe you.
God I pray today that my reader and myself will acknowledge the truth. You are beautiful and wonderful and pure, and outside of you we have absolutely nothing to offer. God forgive us where we’ve failed, and help us to understand that we need to turn away from our sins, not just be sorry that we committed them. God we can’t live our lives in victory until we believe and accept you’ve already given it to us, and we could never do anything to earn it. I pray for you to reveal yourself to us today in a new and fresh way and help us to be fully determined in you.
You are all we need, and we have You.
Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God.

Last Saturday we had a yard sale. We had it at Holly and Rich’s. We’ve done these for years literally. This one was very last minute. Last week Chloe had dance on Mon. Tues. and Thurs. we had church Wed. By Friday it was time to prepare, and I didn’t. Mark did everything. Literally. He’d bring something in and I’d say either “yes” or “I didn’t want to sell it.” I was exhausted. To the point I didn’t offer anything to help Friday.

Yard sales are really fun though if you like to people watch and cut up with people. Richard really does and that makes it very entertaining. He and Holly were selling some China that was very valuable. Ya know that stuff that’s “per place setting” prices. Well, someone came up to Rich and enquired about the price. “$4.00” Rich said. “Well, will you take $3.00?” “Well, no. But I will take $5.00.” Someone asked me about the pricing for something and I said “.25.” They walked away. I’m sorry. You can’t go much cheaper than a .25. After it was all said and done Mark was going to take everything that was left to Good Will. Rich told him he didn’t need to do that. He assured him that if he’d just put it on the side of the road, people would come and just pick it up. Sure enough a few minutes later a man pulled up on a moped strapped down with stuff and starts strapping what he could to himself. As much as he could get. Then he drove off. We had a lot of stuff left, but I guess it all got gone.

Between the two families we made at most a couple hundred, and I doubt even that much. There was probably literally several thousand dollars worth of stuff. (when it was purchased) But no one cared. No one cared how excited Holly was when she bought a cute dress when Rebekah was little. Or that American flag party platter I had. Or all the other things that were so special to us, but to another person meant nothing.

This week has been kind of rough. I’ve heard heartbreaking stories of infidelity. Families broken. People hurting. International chaos. I know people personally who are very sick. People have extreme hatred for one another. My dad has lost his job, and so have many other people I know. Our countries finances are in big trouble. Oh, and on top of all of that-Mark got head butted at church playing basketball Monday night. He was playing ball just to relieve stress after he’d found out we need a new coil for our air conditioner. He’s seeing double. Cat scan said nothing broken. But he can’t feel part of his nose, and he’s still seeing double.

I know many people, including myself in serious need of a renewed sense of hope. I praise God that He tells me where to get it-from Him and it’s more obvious to me than it has ever been. The houses built on shifting sand are shifting and collapsing before people’s eyes leaving them utterly shocked and very scared. The people who’ve built their house on the rock, their house is standing. People get confused by what the house is-the house isn’t possessions and things-the house is US.

At our yard sale we knew how valuable all those items were, but we could barely give them away. We couldn’t believe it. People need to know the gift of Jesus. I don’t mean know, I mean KNOW. With every bit of who we are. That we could never afford the lavishness of his generous priceless love, but we can have it. How will they know? Maybe if we would’ve presented our yard sale treasures as just that, they would’ve sold better. But just pilin’ ‘em on a table and saying “buy it if ya want” maybe that wasn’t the best sales pitch. The world is full of evil and problems and struggles for Christians and non-Christians. So, as these people look at this “Jesus” we claim as our Savior, but they still see us with problems, what would make them want Him? The knowing what will happen one day and who we are in Him. The peace that they don’t have. The joy that can’t be bought, and can’t be taken. It’s so backwards. This gift cost us nothing, but it worth more than anything.

See that today, so that they can see that today.

Psalm 9:18 (New International Version)

18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

Last week has had ups and lots of downs. I know everyone loves a depressing blog. Just joking.

Monday was good. We went to my Aunt Pat’s and when we left, Rachel and Rebekah came home with us. I had told Holly we’d bring ‘em home, but they most certainly could come over and get them and hang out for a bit. Well, they said I could just bring ‘em home. I didn’t mind. I decided to try and clean my disgustingly dirty kitchen floor. I start scrubbing to no avail. Somewhere in the middle of it, Holly tells me they will come over. I finish trying to clean the floor and Mark dries it just as they arrived. It was Holly and Rich’s anniversary and Holly’s birthday week, so I decided me and Holly would go to the grocery store and I’d get something to fix for them. I bought some stuff for Tx. Caviar (her favorite) and some hamburger meat so I could try out my slider maker that Chloe got me for mother’s day. We came home. Hung out ‘till 10:30. Had a blast.
Tuesday I got up and ready for the blessings ahead, so I thought.

I get ready to go, “kids, do you see my keys?” “No.” I pretty much instantly knew they were in Holly’s car. I call her, they aren’t.(Turns out in the afternoon, they were) I call my neighbor and ask her to take the kids to school and Mark comes home to give me his keys. That night was dance recital pictures. I had to get Chloe’s tights. I called the place we get them, $40.00. Wasn’t prepared for that, so I try to find a cheaper place. I spend my entire lunch hour getting them at the cheaper place. At 3:00 Chloe calls me and I tell her I have her tights and will be home just in time to get her ready. She makes sure I have the right kind. I don’t. I then leave work to go and get the right kind, at the original expensive store and go home. We get the pictures made. It takes a llloonnnggg time. Very loud. There’s a terrible storm. Mark calls my cell and tells me the power is out. We get home, and it is. We just sit there. Chloe falls asleep after we eat something Mark had prepared before the power went out. Mark is sort of in and out of sleep. I’m in a bad mood. I’m tired. My head hurt and all I wanted to do was to unwind-with power. At some point I say to Mark “at 8;30 we need to make decisions.” “What decisions?” “What!! You mean to tell me you don’t know what decisions. Just forget it!!” That conversation ended at that time. (What I meant was if we should leave) I was livid. How could this be happening??? Mark goes upstairs and goes to bed and Chloe and I stay downstairs, ‘cause I was afraid that she’d be afraid of the dark. Somewhere around 11 something, she starts crying in her sleep. Then she sits up…..things are about to get worse. She cries. “What’s wrong Chloe?” “My throat.” Crying ensues. I get an ibuprofen. We got upstairs and get in Meagan’s bed ‘cause she wasn’t gonna stay home with no power. At 12 something the power comes back on. At 1:00 more crying “what’s wrong Chloe?” “My stomach.” I get her Maalox and she lays back down. I don’t think either one of us slept more than an hour or two the entire night. The next day she said she could make it to go to school. By the time Mark picked her up. She was crying. Big time. I call the Dr. Mark takes her. No strep. Something I can’t pronounce. Give her her Claritin” he said. By that night she was really crying. She did sleep that night. The next day she wanted to go to school, but I didn’t think she could. Mark left to come home, and then after an ibuprofen in her and getting up she said she wanted to go to school. Mark went back to work. Then we get ready to leave. “Kids do you see the key?” “No.” I wait and look. I still only had Mark’s key. I dread calling him and telling him I’ve done it again. So I keep looking. I finally must call. “You didn’t take your key did you?” “Well ya.” “I don’t have my keys back yet.” Mark comes home, and Meagan takes Chloe to school. Thurs. night things seemed to be better until out of nowhere Chloe really starts crying with her ear. I snap at Mark about which medications are best. I give her something. We go to bed. I’m exhausted. Friday morning Chloe is stuffy and slightly whiny about her ear, but not to bad. I asked her something, and she said something about the spelling bee winner was announced at 1:30 am. “What were you doing up then?” “Daddy gave me medicine.” I didn’t even hear her. Turns out Mark was up with her 1 1/2 hr. We went to Holly’s Friday evening, she said she felt good. Get home, cries with her throat. Saturday she looked like she felt bad, but she did ok and we just stayed home. But her eye was starting to get red, and by Sunday really red. She went to school today. I honestly didn’t think they’d let her stay. Have you ever seen a kid that wanted to go to school? Well, she does. I called her a few minutes ago. She sounds really bad, but says “I’m fine.” She wants to go to dance. So if she’s ok, she’ll go.

See I read some Psalms on Tuesday morning that left me feeling so “in the spiritual zone.” I was so ready. Until life hit me head on. I fell apart. What I realized or remembered was Satan knows the thing(s) that really unravel me. He knows the things that cause you to feel like you’ll lose your mind. Those are the very things that he sits begging to do to us. Some people fall apart if their kids are in turmoil. Some people fall apart if they feel unloved. Some people fall apart if their plans change. Some people fall apart if an appliance breaks. Some people fall apart if the fingernail breaks. It doesn’t matter, Satan knows the exact thing in your day that has the potential to destroy your outlook, and tempt you to retract spiritually in the form of anger, fear, frustration and possibly sin. Please notice I said has the potential to cause all this. He doesn’t cause it to happen, our actions choices and decision do. Bottom line. I lost last week. Satan won. I let him. I refused to see everything for what it was.

Luke 22:31 31″Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:31 31″Your Name, My Name, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Every day-remember it.